You've got hundreds of contacts in your phone. Group texts going all day. Notifications that never really stop.
And still, a lot of us go to bed feeling alone.
If that's you, you're not weird and you're not by yourself. You've probably heard loneliness called a public health epidemic, and the more I study it, the more it hits home. Honestly, this is one of the things closest to my heart in everything I do around mindset training.
Dysfunctionally connected
Here's how I'd put it. We haven't stopped connecting. We've become dysfunctionally connected.
Technology connects devices. It connects us to a device, and it connects our device to other people's devices. What it doesn't do on its own is connect our souls.
It can put us in front of more people than ever. But that's not the same as sitting across from someone who looks at you and lets you know, "Man, I see you. I feel you. I'm with you." There's something about that kind of connection - real, meaningful, genuine - that a screen can't hand you.
So we end up with more contacts and fewer people who really know us. More likes and fewer conversations. That's not a lack of connection. It's the wrong kind.
The comfortable substitute
Here's what's got my attention. More and more people are turning to AI chat tools for companionship, and even for something like therapy.
I want to be careful here. I'm not a psychologist. I use AI every day, it's helped my business a lot, and I believe there are tools out there that can be a real benefit if we use them with discernment and the right perspective. I'm not anti-technology.
But think about what that kind of "relationship" actually is. It's a one-way street. There's no accountability in it. It's just comfortable. You're using a tool, or the tool is using you, and there's no relationship underneath it.
And there's no risk.
Why the risk is the whole point
That's the part I keep coming back to. When you take the risk out of a relationship, you also take out the best part of it.
When you let a real person see you - the backstage stuff, not the highlight reel - you're taking a chance. They might not get it. They might let you down. But that's also the only way you ever get to hear the words that actually fill you up: "You're fully seen, and I still love you. I still care about you. I'm with you. I understand. You're accepted."
A tool can't mean that. A person can.
If we chase the comfortable version of connection, we'll keep reaching for what matters most and keep missing it. And we'll keep feeling like something's off - short on peace, short on fulfillment - whether we realize why or not.
It matters at work too
This isn't only a personal thing. Great author and coach Darren Hardy, who wrote The Compound Effect, has been saying for years that if you want your business to stay relevant heading toward 2030 - not just surviving, but thriving - you'd better emphasize meaningful, genuine human connection and leverage technology. Both.
His point is that the companies that only do the tech side will probably get beat by the ones that do both. I think that's true for people too. Learning the tools matters. Learning to really be with another human being matters more.
I need this as much as anyone
It's easy for me to talk about this and harder to live it. I've fallen into the scrolling myself. I can be in the same room with someone I love and be somewhere else entirely.
So when I say "let's get away from our devices a little bit," I'm coaching to me first.
Your One More Rep: 15 minutes, one person
Here's your One More Rep for today.
Pick one person. A friend, your spouse, one of your kids, a coworker who's seemed a little off lately. Give them about 15 minutes - roughly 1% of your day. You don't even have to hit the full 15.
- Put the device away. Not face down on the table. Away.
- Be locked in. Ask how they're really doing, and wait for the real answer.
- Let them know you see them. Tell them you care. If you can relate to what they're going through, say so.
- Let them know you're with them.
That's it. No fancy plan. Just one person, fully present.
You may never know what those 15 minutes meant to somebody. And I'd bet you walk away a little less lonely yourself.
Remember why we do any of this: as we get better, we get to help others get better. Go connect with someone today, and pay it forward.
God bless. Have a great one.
