You started strong. Maybe it was a fitness challenge, a new morning routine, a plan to eat better or read more. The first few days felt great.
Then you missed one. Then two. Now it's been long enough that you're not sure you even want to look at the plan again.
If that's you, I want you to hear this first: it's not about the missed day. It's about how you respond to it.
The missed day isn't the problem
Everybody misses. I've had people doing a challenge with me tell me, honestly, that they missed a day or two here and there. Awesome. That's real life.
The question isn't whether you'll miss. It's what happens next. Do you miss two in a row? Do you let it grow to three, then five, then fifteen? Do you quietly stop showing up and hope nobody notices?
That's how most good intentions die. Not with one bad day, but with a string of "I'll start again Monday" that never turns into Monday.
Great leadership author John Maxwell shares one of my favorite lines: while we cannot go back and begin again, we can always begin a brand new end.
You can't undo the days you missed. You don't have to. You can start writing a different ending today.
Pick one instead of quitting all of them
Here's where a lot of us get stuck. The standard says do all of it. Every habit, every day. So the moment we fall behind, it feels like we've failed the whole thing, and we walk away from all of it.
I'd rather you do one than nothing. Literally. Rather than quit or give up, pick one.
Say your plan had three pieces: move your body for a few minutes every day, eat inside a set window, and get real protein in at a couple of meals. If you can't get back to all three today, get back to one. Knock out your movement before bed. You may not do all three, but you're back on.
That's not lowering the bar. That's refusing to let one slip become a full stop. You keep a promise to yourself, even a small one, and you start to trust yourself again.
Don't beat yourself up
I have a tendency to beat myself up. Maybe you do too. When I look at me, sometimes I'm not proud of what I see, and my negative self-talk can just pile up on top of itself.
But beating yourself up doesn't get you back on track. It just gives you one more reason to stay off it.
So hear me as a coach here: don't. Today there's still time left. You can still get a rep in. That's the whole game - get a little bit better today than you were yesterday, and keep the promises you make to yourself.
The habit I'd pick above almost any other
If you're restarting and you want one habit that makes the others easier, here's the one I can't put a price on in my own life.
Seventeen minutes of one-on-one time. You and you, unplugged from all technology. A pen and paper and that's it. No phone, no earbuds, no laptop, no TV.
And if you want to include God in that time, that'd be great. He's there anyway.
"I don't have 17 minutes." I get it. Get up 17 minutes earlier and do it first thing. That's when I do mine, and I do a lot of other good things after it.
When I started, I needed an agenda. I'm wired that way. I had to be doing something with the time. Now, sometimes, I just try to be still and empty my mind. Both are powerful. You don't need a plan at first. You just need to show up.
Some of us don't really want to spend time alone with ourselves. That's honest. It can be uncomfortable. But the time spent getting to know you is part of what helps you stick with everything else.
And if you get to the end of your day and you haven't done it? Don't go to bed until you do. Even better, it gets you off a screen before you sleep. I'm aware of the irony of saying that on a screen. We want to use technology, not be controlled by it.
Own your growth, don't rent it
There was a time I'd go to church, hear the pastor's message and call that my faith. I was renting the pastor's faith. I couldn't have defended it on my own.
The same thing happens with any challenge or program. You can watch the videos, hear the coaching and borrow somebody else's motivation. Or you can start training it yourself, one rep at a time, so it becomes yours. I'm still a major work in process on this. I'm still learning.
Your One More Rep: begin your brand new end today
Here's your One More Rep. Don't wait for Monday or the first of the month.
- Pick one habit from the plan you fell off. Just one.
- Do it today, even if it's late and even if it's small.
- Then give yourself 17 unplugged minutes tomorrow morning and ask, "What promise do I want to keep to myself this week?"
You can't go back and begin again. But you can begin a brand new end, starting right now.
Get back on board. You are worth it, and you have what it takes. Let's grow!
